人啊！

沒錢的時候，養豬；When without money, keep pigs;
有錢的時候，養狗。When have money, keep dogs.

沒錢的時候，在家裡吃野菜；When without money, eat at home with wife;
有錢的時候，在酒店吃野菜。When have money, dine in fine restaurant.

沒錢的時候，在馬路上騎自行車；When without money, ride bicycle;
有錢的時候，在客廳裡騎自行車。When have money, ride exercise machine.

沒錢的時候,想結婚；When without money, wish to get married;
有錢的時候,想離婚。When have money, wish to get divorced.

沒錢的時候,老婆兼秘書；When without money, wife becomes secretary;
有錢的時候,秘書兼老婆。When have money, secretary becomes wife.

沒錢的時候,假裝有錢；When without money, act like rich man;
有錢的時候,假裝沒錢。When with money, act like poor man.

人 啊，都不講實話：

Man, O Man, never tells the truth:

說股票是毒品，都在玩；Says sharemarket is bad but keeps speculating;

說金錢是罪惡，都在撈；Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.

說美女是禍水，都想要；Says women are trouble-makers but keeps desiring them;

說高處不勝寒，都在爬；Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.

說煙酒傷身體，就不戒；Says smoking & drinking is bad but keeps partaking;

說天堂最美好，都不去! Says heaven is good but refused to go.

過去把第一次留給丈夫；In the past, woman gives man their virginity;

現在把第一胎留給丈夫。 Now, woman gives man their newborn.

鄉下早晨雞叫人，In the rural area, chicken calls man awake;

城裡晚上人叫雞；In the cities, man calls for chickens.

舊社會戲子賣藝不賣身，In the past, famous actresses will not sell their bodies;

新社會演員賣身不賣藝。Now, actresses will set their bodies to get famous

人生是什麼? What is life about?


1 歲時出場亮相
At one, YOU are the top priority

10歲時功課至上
At ten, academic excellence is the top priority

20歲時春心盪漾
At twenty, getting laid is the top priority

30 歲時職場對抗
At thirty, a good career is top priority

40 歲時身材發胖
At forty, keeping your body in shape is top priority

50 歲時打打麻將
At fifty, beating others at mahjong is top priority

60 歲時老當益壯
At sixty, keeping IT up is top priority

70 歲時常常健忘
At seventy, remembering something is top priority

80 歲時搖搖晃晃
At eighty, moving around is top priority

90 歲時迷失方向
At ninety, knowing directions is top priority

100 歲時掛在牆上
At 100, having your portrait on the wall is top priority!


祝大家愉快，好好做人!